Day 35: A Billion Believers

The second temple we visited (we weren't allowed to take pictures of the first one)

Today, we visited two Hindu temples in the Nairobi area. Now I'm not going to lie, my mind was completely elsewhere today. All I really took in was the sophisticated and intricate designs and architecture of the temples. I'm serious: the woodwork was ridiculously complex and it literally seemed like every inch of the first temple was meticulously carved. Hinduism is a religion like no other: there are 350 million-ish gods, gods who can do whatever they want, philosophies that preach tolerance and inclusivity of all other ideologies, etc. But like I said earlier, I went through each temple with an apathetic attitude and not really caring about anything. I just wanted to talk with my teammates about whether Lebron James was really going to sign with the Heat.

Later on, we met Nita, an Indian woman who now lived in Kenya ministering in prisons to inmates. She gave her testimony to us and described her journey of discovering God, struggling with a Hindu family, and now living in Kenya and serving prison inmates. She's a remarkable and unbelievably strong willed woman.

Then that night, Brian talked to us about how almost one billion people around the world believe in Hinduism. He spoke about how Satan absolutely takes joy in stealing worship away from God. He even said that Satan's not afraid to bless people and to "answer their prayers" as long as they don't think to turn to the one true God. Sadness filled my heart. I couldn't believe that I had gone through the whole day not caring about anything. I had walked through a Hindu temple and didn't care that almost a billion people might never come to know God's love.

For some reason I could honestly tell people that I had come to love a hundred people in Weru, but at the same time, I felt no love for these billion people. This just goes to show how little my heart is and how inadequate I am as a missionary. I'll admit that since I was no longer on my ministry assignment, I felt less purpose and motivation to love people. I struggled to find what my "role" was now on the team. Before, it was just me and Dylan. We were the designated Americans who had come to Weru to share our love and preach the Word. Now I was just another team member on a team with more spiritual and outspoken people. I know this sounds stupid and petty, but this is honestly how I felt.

I went to sleep that night praying that God would break my heart more. That my heart would break for what breaks God's heart. And there are A LOT of things that break God's heart. Like the approximate 1 billion people who are worshiping millions of Hindu gods. The things that break my heart are far and few between, but the things that break God's heart are everywhere. I just had to find out how to see the world and people through God's eyes and not through my narrow view.

Nita and her close friend, Joyce