Today is our first full day in Kenya and we, the team, start off our time in country by starting our orientation. We begin by discussing how to adjust to a new culture and how to respond appropriately to cultural barriers and differences. It's here where we're introduced to what is now a very familiar term on us: red-lining. Red-lining is essentially a euphemism for becoming defensive, criticizing, isolating oneself, rationalizing, etc. when confronted with a conflict in a cross-cultural setting.
Withdrawing from your host family to journal? Red-lining. Judging Kenyans when they do things differently? Red-lining. Complaining incessantly? Red-lining. Not wanting to eat the food? Red-lining. I'm not trying to poke fun at the term; I'm just trying to say that we used the term whenever we reacted negatively to some cultural difference. But honestly speaking, to me, red-lining essentially meant I failed to love the people of Kenya when I was met with come conflict or challenge when I should have been patient, kind, gentle, etc.
The real highlight of the day was going to Ngong town during the afternoon in small groups to buy some stuff (snacks, laundry detergent, etc). This was our first real experience in Kenya. As we talked to town from Watakatifu Wote Senta (WWS), I felt a nervous excitement. There was a lot to take in. Little kids would run up to us yelling, "How are you?" in their high voices. The many Kenyans walking along the town streets would stare at us Americans as we walked by. Before we left, I had prayed that I would see the people in Ngong as God saw them. Well, as soon, as we were walking through the center of the town feeling the stares of crowds, I could not help but feel protective of my group (I was the only guy in my group). I just wanted to grab all the items on our list as quickly as we could and get the heck back to WWS. On our way back, a drunk guy named Charlie accosted us and wouldn't leave us alone. I tried to play it off like I was chill with it but honestly, I just wanted to ditch the dude and get back to WWS, our haven.
Later that night, our team had a sharing time during which people talked about their trips to Ngong. Some people played with school children on their way back (our group didn't). Some people had Kenyan men propose to them (didn't happen to our group). Some people even had conversations about Jesus with Kenyans (our group didn't).
As I retired to my room later that night, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I couldn't help but realize that I had no heart for the people I had seen earlier that day, especially Charlie. I wondered what Jesus would have done had He walked through Ngong. What would Jesus have said to Charlie? I knew in that moment that I did not love, that I had no love to share with others. All I could think about as I walked through Ngong was: A) No one had better threaten or hurt my group because I sure as heck will strike back and B) how I could observe and learn about Kenyan culture and people...from a distance and not through actual interactions. I'm pretty sure that's not what Jesus would have done. I didn't have the love of a Chrisitian, let alone the heart of a missionary. I went to sleep praying that God would reveal something to me, something that would break this stone heart.
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